I'll admit right off the bat: I'm getting old! Missing a month to change my age, my life, my habits and other things.
I lived the longest and earliest 30 crisis ever but entered officially in my astral hell last month to twenty-somethings.
I think in this moment for years and I put a huge pressure to mark this age, you know?
First I never had a birthday party in my life, one for me, all made just for me. There the idea of a party would be the most obvious and gave me super! Started planning, but desmotivei when I saw the work that I could reach my expectations!
Seriously! The person here leads parties very seriously to do just a muffin or ballad. I dream of these 30 years ago so long we couldn't be anyway.
I thought of a short trip, alone and to a place I don't know. That didn't happen because I couldn't get time off work. Obvious!
Then I thought about doing nothing because I was tired of trying to please me and I'm picky I know, a lot of work.
But, huh? I can't stand it! Missing a month to officially change my calendar of life and like every year the blog has always been part of my moments I'm here sharing with you.
I came up with a design, a month to change or #30paraos30 and after 3 months planning what would be the role of the blog and social networks that I think I'm ready to tell you.
The project did not have a name until 2 days ago when Talita Ribeiro, who is also pushing 30, inspired me.
Thus, the project 30 to the 30's is my celebration, my rite of passage that a month to change old!
What is the project?
In these 30 days I'm going to endeavor to change a lot of things about me, do other things, start activities and etc.
I believe that everything we do, think and talk over and over again, becomes an active energy within us and gives us strength and even power.
With this a month to change I want to reinforce good things for my new age.
Is nothing exceptional, but these things have a great importance for me, so help me sending good vibes, okay?
I split my challenges in areas of my life. Then came the blog, my behavior, my intellect, career, finance, health and body and several other things that I'm showing and telling as I am doing.
Follow on Instagram to accompany the stories in real time, but will always have a summary here on the blog!
Those are just the challenges I can publish! I have a list of challenges so personal and intimate that I can't write here. But, I'm going to slowly counting.
Wish me luck and of course I'm accepting birthday gifts already < 3
#30to30's is the hashtag to follow posts in social networks. I've already started to share some news with her:)
I try to show that gratitude to people with cards/emails, phone calls and even smiles. I also write a list of things for which I am grateful, and shouldn't, ever, forget.
I want to share my Thanksgiving list this year here in my journal and anytime I go back to read.
2016 was a year of resilience, to accept what I could not change and working hard for what was in my power.
Was a year of great financial results, in my view, of course. I'm not talking about beeing rich only, but about ay my bills, make advances in my personal economy and some great acquisitions for me.
I could provide support to my Mom in all the situations needed. Also give some gifts to (my nephew) Gu and a huge support to Isa's (my Goddaughter and niece)
The money did not remain, but still not was missed of my pocket and this is a reason of a lot of grattitude.
I always say I have a job and live independently is one of the biggest reasons for gratitude.
With the current economy of Brazil.
With the higher prices only reinforced my buying philosophy of the small entrepreneur and alternative markets.
Especially food, buy everything closer to home, cooler and in smaller quantities.
I developed many skills this year.
I'm cooking more and better. I improved my English. I began to study to open an investment portfolio (in addition to the Conservatives that I have today). Did branding courses, personal style and makeup!
It was a year to start investing in me, my happiness and my development.
One thing I never thought I'd say is that I'm learning to be a little selfish.
I've always liked to help people, give chance to others, invest in others, be loyal and help everybody. But, I'm tired of not receiving the same treatment.
I'm watching my back, giving me gifts and small treats that are all mine!
It was this year that I realized that all the achievements of my life just happened for me. This independence has strengthened me to free myself of the burden of hope that "someday someone will help me."
I started taking care of my health after hearing the diagnosis of stress or Bournout, prolactin dysfunction and a worsening in polycystic ovary syndrome.
I needed my body and my head had a shut down. But, I came to my senses and started looking for the most important person in my life: myself!.
At work I improved my technical skills and management. I took the front of decisions and even bought some fights with my Indian Chief. Not that fight is a good thing. But, in a sexist and not fair culture – as Indian and corporate world are – establish onself is required.
In consulting the people used to say that "all pro activity will be punished". Even that didn't stop me from being exactly as I am. I was pro active where I wanted to be.
My performance evaluation proved that my results surpass my temper. And I haven't changed my ways to conquer the Indians or the client.
Biggest reason for gratitude of my life: My mother!
How was George being with her this year. I was the longest possible glued her, stuck, caring and being cared for. Lucky I have this daughter Mrs. Melanie! We fight, she orders me to stop swearing, but we love each other.
Gratitude is also view Isa growing full of health, sweet and polite. Every time I look to Isa and my mothers together, I know my attitude of gratitude you need to create a new world for Isa!
In addition to these feelings are overflowing I have days outstanding memories of 2016. These were days of struggle, the glory days.
At the turn of the year I made the first family BBQ at home that was still "new".
I hired Fabio to took care of my kitchen on December, 31 and January, 1. He took care of everything with so much affection that was the first reason of gratitude of the year.
Give this "luxury" to my beloved is priceless!
I remember the look of pride and love my mother looked at me when he came to give me happy new year. Thank God she looks at me every day, not only for financial gains, but for everything. Need film for I never esqeuecer!
In the middle of last year I had to sell my first car, with 5,000 km, to make the work of the House. The feeling of frustration almost overcame the joy to be able to furnish the House.
I had put the goal to buy a new car in 1 year, what would happen in the middle of this year.
But in December I was able to buy another car, zero! No miracle, only with hard work and focus. The car arrived as my Christmas present!
Another goal that I did was to go back to travel 2 years after purchase of the House. It would be only in 2017.
But, in 1 year I could realize the dream to know an Island here in Brazil. A really desired trip that comes to crown a difficult year that changes me a lot!
I have to give thanks, every day, to see and live with the results of my work.
It was a tough year, but I expect not last 3 months on this project and I'm already a year ago and merits. I received a very positive review of India and of the managers here from Brazil. Two managers, um from the client and one from my company, came personally to me to compliment me and applaud my deliverables.
Same with personal problems I kept a standard of quality in everything I did.
The blog grew, increased and the number of contacts you receive from companies increased. It was a pleasant surprise! For the first time in my life I refused invitations from advertising on the blog! Yes, I freed myself of the weight of the blog "commercial" and refused 2 publiposts that had nothing to do with me.
I'm grateful to be able to maintain this free space, with my investment and get my values above the money.
Each person who contacts saying that I helped or touched in any way your heart is a huge force in my life. People who ask me opinion, help and tips make me feel so special and I thank all my life experience.
I appreciate the difficulties that brought me here and made me who I am.
This year I grew up and I suffered internally at the same time. Growing up hurts, but it's necessary and Liberator. This year I hugged my "difficult" temperament. It's part of who I am and it's not a defect, it is a quality! The relationship problems I've had this year (pierced societies, dishonest, self-serving people and me being lame) have changed me for the better.
This year there was disappointment? Had!
But, in a way lighter without suffering. Exactly why I changed my way of looking at relationships.
The sense of freedom that is to turn your back on things and people that add, just suck and have no prejudice for that, is unique.
It's more that detachment, is freedom, independence and security.
I can say that desapeguei of people in General. I learned that I can only feel free when I give my best to everyone. And if I don't get the better of someone, the "fault" is not mine.
Each one gives you have!
Was the word of the year, not substantive, but emotional.
I had to start dealing with the fact that my mother is not eternal. Get ready for a day she's not here anymore. I still feel a huge fear just to think about it.
Because of it, my biggest reason of gratitude is see my Mom winning the batles of her life! Just thinking about my mommy I feel the attitude of gratitude overflowing.
Immediately, I want to cry tears of joy for her life. I'm grateful to have my mom with me up here!
"so far the Lord helped us" (1 Samuel 7.12).
This is my thanks to the universe for conspiring in my favor. It's the way that I have to increase my gratitude attitude and remember that even in bad times I have a lot to be thankful for.
When you feel you have nothing to feel gratitude start a list. Write the simple things and the everyday things, they show us how life is good!
Self-esteem and patterns of beauty surround us all the time. Self-esteem is linked to everything we do, we are and how we behave with each other and with us.
The self-esteem and living standards of beauty in our head. Making her a battlefield, enabling the strongest possible emotions.
Have you looked in the mirror and found not beautiful?
Already panicked proving the clothes from your closet, not liking anything and thinking that it is their lack of beauty?
You don’t see good in any photos?
It is common for you to want to dress up and feel like (seem to) those girls of Instagram, the TV, the magazine?
Have you ever wanted to look in the mirror for once and have the feeling of ‘ wow, I’m really hot “and not the” real “I’m not pretty?
If you answered no to these questions, all right, this is not for you.
I answered Yes to all the questions and I don’t think I’m alone in this world.
Once in a while, I’m still trying to blame the clothing, the color, the fabric, but in the end I find myself thinking: “I’m so ordinary, normal, not pretty, my body, these dark circles. Affeee enough with the mirror. “
There is a well defined line on society/blogs/culture/world about appearance and standards. Or do you fit or not.
I don’t fit in. I’ve never fit in, for several reasons.
This created a feeling-terrifying monster that only increased social pressure over the years.
Who do you know that feeling you know the pressure becomes internally and turns into a crushing force our personality.
This will force pushing us and slowly looked at the standard “acceptable” and we want to be inside her, at any cost.
We wake up opens the closet and choose that clothes that look good in the outfit inspiration of Pinterest. “But, don’t work on me because I don’t have that kind of body, you know?”
The simple makeup of every day is made to ensure that the skin glow. Or at least it looked like it was going to be naturally good at tutorial. “Oh, my skin is terrible, I really need a lot of makeup, go.”
If you do picture for internet, little makeup is nonsense. Need to cover everything to have perfect skin and look like a TUMBLR GIRL. “Oh and send more makeup you’re little.”
Puts, but I need those pants that make everyone thin and beautiful and high … “Ah, but my thick thighs do not enter them. But, I’m going to go try and buy a larger size with a strap because my butt’s immense. “
There at lunchtime, come to think of it. I need to fix my diet and try to live without chocolate, sugar, lactose and gluten. Wow how to eat well is expensive, right? It is not, I should be poor even, Oh taking tea and lots of water to alleviate hunger.
A peek at Instagram before bed, with the lights off, no fluffy duvet and decorated room. “But, why I can’t have an image and perfect life? Maybe, I’m not for admiration. Nothing works well with me, nothing is the same as the perfect Lady blog feed X. “
“I think some were destined to watch the parade and other confidence and beauty in the world.”
Thus is born a person dissatisfied with herself.
But, no, not the end.
Every day we can fight against the standards of beauty. And, especially, against these destructive thoughts.
The only thing that is under our control is ourselves and our thoughts. All we can do is try not to compare us, we don’t slow down and don’t let us down.
I also face these thoughts and sometimes they win. But, I was worse.
I’ve felt that 24 hours a day, I’ve allowed myself to be diminished by people thinking they were right about me, my weight, my body, my clothes, my intelligence, my future …
At some point in my life I stopped crying hiding. Lost opportunities for finding good enough or adequate enough. [Tweet “Eu engoli o choro junto com o suor das minhas lutas.”]
I stopped doing my thoughts my enemies and to make things more difficult for me all the time. I took it and I stopped following a galera in Internet and stopped with some magazines, too.
Since then I have put my personality at all and I make no apologies for my chosen paths. I accept the style that holds me every day that I wake up different.
I assumed qu is a choice not to let me down. It is because of a change in weight, a loss in job, an unsuccessful relationship.
I have the power to avoid thoughts of defeat when don’t enter in bikini, in dress, in my pants.
I take control of my mind to not let me overthrow by “friendly advice”. Those criticisms full of bitterness in disguise.
I have the power to not go to dark places of my mind, even though the “circumstances” Please take me there.
I have the power to react positively to negative circumstances or simplesmenta keep my inner peace.
It’s not so easy to do as it is talking about. We’re almost conditioned to destroy our self-esteem behind the outer standards.
But, believe me, you can change this key. All it takes is practice, patience, and love with us.
One of the ways I have found to change my self-esteem and beauty standards was to create an exercise:
I remember quickly of situations where my self-esteem and beauty standards threw me down. Where I felt frustrated, dimuida, useless.
Then, I think, for a few minutes in ways to deconstruct it, revert the thoughts in my head and do statements like: “this situation happened, I grew up, I learned from her, now I’ll move on better than I was before.”
Seems forced and it’s almost that reprogram a memory.
I change negative phrases that I said or heard about me, for positive sentences. Bring awareness that I’m the best that I can be today, tomorrow I become even better.
Remember a situation in your life.
Think of all the times that a situation destroyed his self-esteem, made you feel frustrated and screaming at herself in the mirror crying for hours.
Instead of reacting the way you normally do, try saying to yourself that you’re bigger than these issues.
Do this several times every day.
No negativity is worth a second of our lovely 24 hours. Believe me when I say that it’s not worth it I learned that the hard way.
Find your acceptance.
Post your photos on Instagram because you simply can’t resist how well you got on your clothing.
Use makeup to please.
Find your voice in your personality and put her out.
My self confidence has always been fragile, but it took many years to understand and, especially for I admit it.
I’ve always been a person who is considered strong and secure, by others. Only by other …
Let me shake-out-easily, but inside I always gave a lot of importance to the opinion of others. My auto criticises is so strong that any criticism has always been as a confirmation of my disability. Neither compliment I never knew receive, always thought it was bad and any compliment would be nice of someone else and undeserving.
Until I get the hard point writing that’s 29 years learning to be me, not easy.
It took me years to figure out my problems with self confidence and begin to change.
I suffered a lot by increasing my internal billing based on the opinion of others and that destroyed what little confidence I had.
In 2008, a very dear friend of mine wrote me this here: [Tweet “”Meu jeito rude e meu olhar tão duro. É grade, é cerca, é teatro, é meu muro! Assim me protejo dos que anseiam minhas lágrimas e filtro os que merecem meu sorriso…” (Pierre Lacerda)”]
That translates to a lot of my personality and my self confidence was, for years, theater, was my wall.
But, the life friends, she kick doors, knocks down walls and we need to learn from it or live in suffering.
That’s how I learned a few things sober have more self confidence: with life and follow developing 8 attitudes to have more self confidence.
Focus on improving yourself, rather than comparing yourself with others.
I even today I think all the people of the world are better than I. I never thought I was great in anything, I never saw myself as good at anything. In fact, until recently, I defined as: “a normal person, with no special talents.”
But, do you know why all this? Because I looked to others as my reference and I compared. After that I started to focus in getting to know me, understand my weak points and seek to constantly improve this feeling of not being good enough has decreased.
Has references, people who look, but be you your quality standards overcome:)
Learn how to accept and thank
When you receive a compliment you give an answer something like: “imagine are your eyes”, “this kind” or “Oh no it isn’t”? Or when someone compliments your outfit you say “Oh but it was so cheap, so old”
I did that, I didn’t know and neither accept compliments. For example the day I won a book from Solange, massage therapist of my job, I go there at once in massage ever and one day she gave me a book, just like me. Or when I was offered, for free, a course for the blog, without requesting review or anything in return.
I don’t understand why someone wanted to give me something for free? What do you mean you’re giving me a present and not expect anything in return? That thought was my unconscious to see that I don’t deserve, reinforcing my insecurity.
When I went to thank verbally, I smiled embarrassed by praise/gift, but I began to feel it was right for me. Gradually, I began to change my unconscious, today I try not to reinforce in me this feeling of not deserving. I accept, thank you and whenever I can retribuio.
Gradually, I began to change my unconscious, today I try not to reinforce in me this feeling of not deserving.
I accept, thank you and whenever I retribuio the praise.
They say that the secret of peace of spirit is to accept and thank you all!
I’m not talking about being rude, you see. It’s one thing to say “Sorry” for education by insecurity.
You know that feeling of never being right, of having to always apologize for having “a strong opinion”? I had a habit of apologizing for a word wrong in English or for asking something in a meeting.
But, today I work with Indians and they rarely apologize even when comment cultural gaffes. One day a boss told me: “don’t be sorry so much, there’s no need, just apologize when we hurt someone, when you screw up” and it was liberating.
Know that you don’t need to apologize pos their opinions, book your apologies for if you injure someone.
Learn to say no.
The word needs to be said with all the letters, calmly and clearly. Say Yes when we mean deep down that’s not asking to fall into pitfalls and have problems. I see people who have self-confidence simply say no and not justified, are not around to say no in any situation.
I’ve been trying to practice that and I confess that in the beginning is tough, I was unsure I thought, you know, the person would be upset with me. 1000 laps, façava gave a not half hidden in the justifications and in the end, was talking about Yes.
It just screwed me, today I’ve been thinking a lot more before I say Yes in certain situations (work, home and blog) and when I say not with conviction and security.
I always say that a non and a fuck are liberators!
Take care of you, of your body and feel good.
Self confidence is closely linked to self-esteem, as one increases the other increases. When we feel good is 50% of the way to be more confident in all situations.
When I have a situation where I need to be confident as, job interview or meeting with customer, I always put a piece of favorite clothes. That I feel good and comfortable wearing, that will let me at ease with myself.
I’m learning to take care of my body helps me keep my energy and concentration and it’s really good for my self esteem and confidence. Keep some rituals like care creams, my time, my time to meditate and everything that gets better as I feel myself.
I’ve always been a smiling person, I like to greet everyone with a smile and that got me out of trouble. Had a day they sent me to a customer where or if you speak English or Japanese, my English was terrible (today it is acceptable) and I had no other choice but to smile and to communicate. The smile helped me break the ice several times with the Japanese.
Exercise be more smiling, not the forced laughter, but a slight smile of sympathy. Smile at you in the mirror and then try smiling at someone, in General, people or return the smile or feel more comfortable with who’s smiled.
In particular in work situations, to have more self confidence I try to keep a good posture, to talk, sit and especially when walking. I confess that when sitting I bow have sought not to do exercises that.
Have a good posture cause the impression of self confidence, gradually people will feel you more self confidence and transmitting it yourself you will be.
It’s not just column erect posture and head up. Posture is whether in each environment, so know the ground rules of etiquette of each environment helps to have more self confidence.
Make small mental goals
One of my goals of self-confidence was talk to a Director of the company that I currently design, Dan, he’s an American from Philadelphia. I think the way he speak English very cool, sometimes too fast, but I was too afraid (or ashamed) to talk to him, neither good day I was, really.
Dan has the stereotype of Abílio Diniz (famous administrator in Brazil that I admire and, one day, I took an elevator with him at the headquarters of the BRF Foods, the company that he runs and I never threw a “good afternoon Mr. Diniz”), his way of walking already commands respect, it is very closed and keep it down. But, when you talk to the entire team in the weekly meetings he spends an incredible energy and motivation!
To overcome my fear I put as goal to try to talk to him, one day, for at least 5 minutes about random stuff and don’t work.
One day, I alone in the café the opportunity arose, he and his “Morning” fast and dry. I pulled the air and replied “Hello Dan, how are you?” his voice trembling and a smile on her face. We talked for more than 5 minutes about accents, regions of the United States and he even laughed my D/G accent.
I felt pretty fucking so and today have several small goals to test my self confidence. Trust me, if you challenge and continue to work your self confidence every day!
Don’t go wasting your precious time with all the nonsense in your mind. Don’t knock it, no more!
You have a smile that worth fighting for. Yes, you have it all with her perfect porcelain. There is no one to compare, you just have to remember that you’re wonderful, love!
You are killing it in every way, could be smiling every day.
You can dance like Beyonce, you can move like Shakira. Because you are brave, Yes, your fearless and you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, girl!
So sorry like Rihanna, go and pose as Madonna. Because you are brave, you are honest! And you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, girl!
That’s the honest truth! I hope that this text will help you as much as it helped me write.
I already feel more confident just share it here and the Penguin of the ego agree:)
The celebration of Thanksgiving came into my life in 2007 and since then I have tried to have the attitude of gratitude every day and times of my life.
In November 2007 I worked at a company that celebrated Thanksgiving with an ecumenical celebration. That year I organized the celebration, food and drink, the timetables and the guests, without ever in my life have celebrated Thanksgiving.
The celebrants were a priest, a pastor, a gospel singer, guitar players and berranteiros of the Church of Aparecidinha. Around those people, all employees of the simplest company owners prayed, sang and celebrated the gratitude. We’re not talking about religious denomination, but rather an attitude of gratitude for our life.
I remember that I got very emotional, I cried a few times and I prayed a lot for my mother and my father who had left us there was little time.
That year was hard, thank the grief, the pain of loss, the difficulties that followed hurt still strong. But, that’s celbração I believe I began to heal. I gave thanks to his chest open for every moment I had with my father and when a garish touched it was like he was there with me, in the simplicity of the backwoods.
From that year, every last Thursday of the month of November I celebrate my Thanksgiving and November became a special month for me.
Already in 2013, in the USA, I could feel the biggest attitude of gratitude in my heart, I was on honeymoon, traveling through beautiful places I never imagined meeting and there was a feeling inside of me: the gratitude!
I was thinking about all the difficulties I had in life, in the madness that life had become after the death of my Father. I saw flashes of how was the celebration of my marriage and my family, my kitties waiting for me at home and I was more and more GRATEFUL and HAPPY!
I could not hold the laughter and the tears, to be more far from where my dreams might go.
We went to dinner at a simple restaurant and made our first Thanksgiving celebration as Mr and Mrs Sharma.
Thanksgiving is a day that taught me to stop to pray and just say thank you for everything, including by the difficulties. That was the day I realized that the gratitude give me strength!
As the above image: “give thanks sincerely, not only helps us to recognize our blessings, but also opens the gates of heaven!”
[Tweet “”dar graças sinceramente, nos ajuda a reconhecer nossas bênçãos e abre as portas do céu!””]
I wrote this text snippets in 4 February 2014 at 16:11, I had lost my first Baby-Kitty Frida, the pain was so great that I almost couldn’t stand. But, I did remember to thank for everything that a small pet changed in his short spell for my life.
Over time I realized that Frida came into my life for a purpose and it made me feel at home again, be family.
Today, 27 November 2014, I’m going to celebrate another Thanksgiving next Dear to our family very happy, we have another daughter to be together with Fritz the joy of our House.
We spend 2 years of Frida this Christmas, so for the day not be sad she from heaven of the cats sent us the Fia, our small, to cheer us up.
I realized that the gratitude gives me strength and hope to create in me, every day, this attitude of gratitude that can feed the happiness and cure any pain. I hope this attitude of gratitude make me walk more confident, lighter, no strings attached or any bad feeling that lasts more than a few moments.