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Girl Power

0 In Empowerment

Self-esteem and beauty standards

Autoestima e Padrões de Beleza

Self-esteem and patterns of beauty surround us all the time. Self-esteem is linked to everything we do, we are and how we behave with each other and with us.

The self-esteem and living standards of beauty in our head. Making her a battlefield, enabling the strongest possible emotions.

Have you looked in the mirror and found not beautiful?

  • Already panicked proving the clothes from your closet, not liking anything and thinking that it is their lack of beauty?
  • You don’t see good in any photos?
  • It is common for you to want to dress up and feel like (seem to) those girls of Instagram, the TV, the magazine?
  • Have you ever wanted to look in the mirror for once and have the feeling of ‘ wow, I’m really hot “and not the” real “I’m not pretty?

If you answered no to these questions, all right, this is not for you.

I answered Yes to all the questions and I don’t think I’m alone in this world.

Once in a while, I’m still trying to blame the clothing, the color, the fabric, but in the end I find myself thinking: “I’m so ordinary, normal, not pretty, my body, these dark circles. Affeee enough with the mirror. “

There is a well defined line on society/blogs/culture/world about appearance and standards. Or do you fit or not.

I don’t fit in. I’ve never fit in, for several reasons.

This created a feeling-terrifying monster that only increased social pressure over the years.

Who do you know that feeling you know the pressure becomes internally and turns into a crushing force our personality.

This will force pushing us and slowly looked at the standard “acceptable” and we want to be inside her, at any cost.

We wake up opens the closet and choose that clothes that look good in the outfit inspiration of Pinterest. “But, don’t work on me because I don’t have that kind of body, you know?”

The simple makeup of every day is made to ensure that the skin glow. Or at least it looked like it was going to be naturally good at tutorial. “Oh, my skin is terrible, I really need a lot of makeup, go.”

If you do picture for internet, little makeup is nonsense. Need to cover everything to have perfect skin and look like a TUMBLR GIRL. “Oh and send more makeup you’re little.”

Puts, but I need those pants that make everyone thin and beautiful and high … “Ah, but my thick thighs do not enter them. But, I’m going to go try and buy a larger size with a strap because my butt’s immense. “

There at lunchtime, come to think of it. I need to fix my diet and try to live without chocolate, sugar, lactose and gluten. Wow how to eat well is expensive, right? It is not, I should be poor even, Oh taking tea and lots of water to alleviate hunger.

A peek at Instagram before bed, with the lights off, no fluffy duvet and decorated room. “But, why I can’t have an image and perfect life? Maybe, I’m not for admiration. Nothing works well with me, nothing is the same as the perfect Lady blog feed X. “

“I think some were destined to watch the parade and other confidence and beauty in the world.”


Thus is born a person dissatisfied with herself.

But, no, not the end.

Every day we can fight against the standards of beauty. And, especially, against these destructive thoughts.

The only thing that is under our control is ourselves and our thoughts. All we can do is try not to compare us, we don’t slow down and don’t let us down.

I also face these thoughts and sometimes they win. But, I was worse.

I’ve felt that 24 hours a day, I’ve allowed myself to be diminished by people thinking they were right about me, my weight, my body, my clothes, my intelligence, my future …

At some point in my life I stopped crying hiding. Lost opportunities for finding good enough or adequate enough. [Tweet “Eu engoli o choro junto com o suor das minhas lutas.”]

I stopped doing my thoughts my enemies and to make things more difficult for me all the time. I took it and I stopped following a galera in Internet and stopped with some magazines, too.

Since then I have put my personality at all and I make no apologies for my chosen paths. I accept the style that holds me every day that I wake up different.

I assumed qu is a choice not to let me down. It is because of a change in weight, a loss in job, an unsuccessful relationship.

  • I have the power to avoid thoughts of defeat when don’t enter in bikini, in dress, in my pants.
  • I take control of my mind to not let me overthrow by “friendly advice”. Those criticisms full of bitterness in disguise.
  • I have the power to not go to dark places of my mind, even though the “circumstances” Please take me there.
  • I have the power to react positively to negative circumstances or simplesmenta keep my inner peace.

It’s not so easy to do as it is talking about. We’re almost conditioned to destroy our self-esteem behind the outer standards.

But, believe me, you can change this key. All it takes is practice, patience, and love with us.

One of the ways I have found to change my self-esteem and beauty standards was to create an exercise:

I remember quickly of situations where my self-esteem and beauty standards threw me down. Where I felt frustrated, dimuida, useless.

Then, I think, for a few minutes in ways to deconstruct it, revert the thoughts in my head and do statements like: “this situation happened, I grew up, I learned from her, now I’ll move on better than I was before.”

Seems forced and it’s almost that reprogram a memory.

I change negative phrases that I said or heard about me, for positive sentences. Bring awareness that I’m the best that I can be today, tomorrow I become even better.

Remember a situation in your life.

Think of all the times that a situation destroyed his self-esteem, made you feel frustrated and screaming at herself in the mirror crying for hours.

Instead of reacting the way you normally do, try saying to yourself that you’re bigger than these issues.

Do this several times every day.

No negativity is worth a second of our lovely 24 hours. Believe me when I say that it’s not worth it I learned that the hard way.

Find your acceptance.

Post your photos on Instagram because you simply can’t resist how well you got on your clothing.

Use makeup to please.

Find your voice in your personality and put her out.

Believe in you if you are seeking 3 < more info to not feel alone in this world, I recommend this Geledes.Org text that talks about standards of beauty, self-esteem and feminism.

I’m doing this for me, every day a little and write it here gave me an immense strength, thanks for reading!

0 In Empowerment

8 attitudes to have more self confidence

My self confidence has always been fragile, but it took many years to understand and, especially for I admit it.

I’ve always been a person who is considered strong and secure, by others. Only by other …

Let me shake-out-easily, but inside I always gave a lot of importance to the opinion of others. My auto criticises is so strong that any criticism has always been as a confirmation of my disability. Neither compliment I never knew receive, always thought it was bad and any compliment would be nice of someone else and undeserving.

Until I get the hard point writing that’s 29 years learning to be me, not easy.

It took me years to figure out my problems with self confidence and begin to change.

I suffered a lot by increasing my internal billing based on the opinion of others and that destroyed what little confidence I had.

In 2008, a very dear friend of mine wrote me this here: [Tweet “”Meu jeito rude e meu olhar tão duro. É grade, é cerca, é teatro, é meu muro! Assim me protejo dos que anseiam minhas lágrimas e filtro os que merecem meu sorriso…” (Pierre Lacerda)”]

That translates to a lot of my personality and my self confidence was, for years, theater, was my wall.

But, the life friends, she kick doors, knocks down walls and we need to learn from it or live in suffering.

That’s how I learned a few things sober have more self confidence: with life and follow developing 8 attitudes to have more self confidence.

Before you start reading the 8 attitude, clicks the link on the side and press play: Brave, Honest, Beautiful (just listen).

  • Focus on improving yourself, rather than comparing yourself with others.

self confidence-compare
I even today I think all the people of the world are better than I. I never thought I was great in anything, I never saw myself as good at anything. In fact, until recently, I defined as: “a normal person, with no special talents.”

But, do you know why all this? Because I looked to others as my reference and I compared. After that I started to focus in getting to know me, understand my weak points and seek to constantly improve this feeling of not being good enough has decreased.

Has references, people who look, but be you your quality standards overcome:)

  • Learn how to accept and thank

self confidence beauty

When you receive a compliment you give an answer something like: “imagine are your eyes”, “this kind” or “Oh no it isn’t”? Or when someone compliments your outfit you say “Oh but it was so cheap, so old”

I did that, I didn’t know and neither accept compliments. For example the day I won a book from Solange, massage therapist of my job, I go there at once in massage ever and one day she gave me a book, just like me. Or when I was offered, for free, a course for the blog, without requesting review or anything in return.

I don’t understand why someone wanted to give me something for free? What do you mean you’re giving me a present and not expect anything in return? That thought was my unconscious to see that I don’t deserve, reinforcing my insecurity.

When I went to thank verbally, I smiled embarrassed by praise/gift, but I began to feel it was right for me. Gradually, I began to change my unconscious, today I try not to reinforce in me this feeling of not deserving. I accept, thank you and whenever I can retribuio.

Gradually, I began to change my unconscious, today I try not to reinforce in me this feeling of not deserving.

I accept, thank you and whenever I retribuio the praise.

They say that the secret of peace of spirit is to accept and thank you all!

  • Don’t apologize.

auto-confianca _ lis-life _ sorry

I’m not talking about being rude, you see. It’s one thing to say “Sorry” for education by insecurity.

You know that feeling of never being right, of having to always apologize for having “a strong opinion”? I had a habit of apologizing for a word wrong in English or for asking something in a meeting.

But, today I work with Indians and they rarely apologize even when comment cultural gaffes. One day a boss told me: “don’t be sorry so much, there’s no need, just apologize when we hurt someone, when you screw up” and it was liberating.

Know that you don’t need to apologize pos their opinions, book your apologies for if you injure someone.

  • Learn to say no.

self confidence-nope

The word needs to be said with all the letters, calmly and clearly. Say Yes when we mean deep down that’s not asking to fall into pitfalls and have problems. I see people who have self-confidence simply say no and not justified, are not around to say no in any situation.

I’ve been trying to practice that and I confess that in the beginning is tough, I was unsure I thought, you know, the person would be upset with me. 1000 laps, façava gave a not half hidden in the justifications and in the end, was talking about Yes.

It just screwed me, today I’ve been thinking a lot more before I say Yes in certain situations (work, home and blog) and when I say not with conviction and security.

I always say that a non and a fuck are liberators!

  • Take care of you, of your body and feel good.


Self confidence is closely linked to self-esteem, as one increases the other increases. When we feel good is 50% of the way to be more confident in all situations.

When I have a situation where I need to be confident as, job interview or meeting with customer, I always put a piece of favorite clothes. That I feel good and comfortable wearing, that will let me at ease with myself.

I’m learning to take care of my body helps me keep my energy and concentration and it’s really good for my self esteem and confidence. Keep some rituals like care creams, my time, my time to meditate and everything that gets better as I feel myself.

  • Smile.

self confidence-smile

I’ve always been a smiling person, I like to greet everyone with a smile and that got me out of trouble. Had a day they sent me to a customer where or if you speak English or Japanese, my English was terrible (today it is acceptable) and I had no other choice but to smile and to communicate. The smile helped me break the ice several times with the Japanese.

Exercise be more smiling, not the forced laughter, but a slight smile of sympathy. Smile at you in the mirror and then try smiling at someone, in General, people or return the smile or feel more comfortable with who’s smiled.

  • Has posture.

self confidence-posture

In particular in work situations, to have more self confidence I try to keep a good posture, to talk, sit and especially when walking. I confess that when sitting I bow have sought not to do exercises that.

Have a good posture cause the impression of self confidence, gradually people will feel you more self confidence and transmitting it yourself you will be.

It’s not just column erect posture and head up. Posture is whether in each environment, so know the ground rules of etiquette of each environment helps to have more self confidence.

  • Make small mental goals

self confidence-Rory Gilmore

One of my goals of self-confidence was talk to a Director of the company that I currently design, Dan, he’s an American from Philadelphia. I think the way he speak English very cool, sometimes too fast, but I was too afraid (or ashamed) to talk to him, neither good day I was, really.

Dan has the stereotype of Abílio Diniz (famous administrator in Brazil that I admire and, one day, I took an elevator with him at the headquarters of the BRF Foods, the company that he runs and I never threw a “good afternoon Mr. Diniz”), his way of walking already commands respect, it is very closed and keep it down. But, when you talk to the entire team in the weekly meetings he spends an incredible energy and motivation!

To overcome my fear I put as goal to try to talk to him, one day, for at least 5 minutes about random stuff and don’t work.

One day, I alone in the café the opportunity arose, he and his “Morning” fast and dry. I pulled the air and replied “Hello Dan, how are you?” his voice trembling and a smile on her face. We talked for more than 5 minutes about accents, regions of the United States and he even laughed my D/G accent.

I felt pretty fucking so and today have several small goals to test my self confidence. Trust me, if you challenge and continue to work your self confidence every day!

This Brave, Honest, Beautiful music says:

Don’t go wasting your precious time with all the nonsense in your mind.
Don’t knock it, no more!
You have a smile that worth fighting for. Yes, you have it all with her perfect porcelain.
There is no one to compare, you just have to remember that you’re wonderful, love!
You are killing it in every way, could be smiling every day.

You can dance like Beyonce, you can move like Shakira.
Because you are brave, Yes, your fearless and you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, girl!

So sorry like Rihanna, go and pose as Madonna.
Because you are brave, you are honest!
And you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, girl!

That’s the honest truth! I hope that this text will help you as much as it helped me write.

I already feel more confident just share it here and the Penguin of the ego agree:)

8-attitudes-to-have-more-self-confidence _ lis-life-2